In your post you insinuated that your situation is a problem that you did not have the answer to. In this area, we offer people knowledge and wisdom to add a different angle of perception to see the picture clearly. I believe if you give the Kabbalah some thought, it would will help bring you to the enlightenment that you seek. If not I have a friend who has chicks with big bare breasts who will serve your favorite beverage to you to help you feel better while you think:) Im just saying....Power Up...
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Have a nice day
Thanks God bless.